Well, sir, I’ve gone and done it. Nancy says we should buy one of them automobilious wagons everyone is getting.
Well, sir, when they delivered it home at the farm I got out the book of rules and the more I read the less I knew about the innards of that machine. Then Jim Lawson came over and he says, “You’re supposed to turn that crank in front to make it go.”
Well, I turned that darn old crank until my eyes bugged out and it wouldn’t go. So I set down in the yard to think it over and Nancy says the language I was using was just shameful. Then Jim Lawson came over and he says, “I should put this thing in somewhere.”
We found where it went and I turned the crank and that machine began to race and snort.
It ran over Hank Weevers dog, tore a hole through Clyde Willises’ picket fence and then started off down through the pasture and killed four sheep and a calf, and then ran into a hay stack and blowed up.
Well, sir, all I got out of that joy ride was a broken leg, some rubber tires, six lawsuits and a mortgage on the farm.
Nancy says if we ever own another one we’ll get a real chauffeur to run it. I ain’t saying much but I’ve got lingering suspicions that all my joy riding will be done in an old buckboard.