Local Lizzie: Ways to heal from a broken heart

Lizzie Skelton is a UBC Okanagan student who writes a column for Black Press

Going through a break up sucks, it’s a messy emotional roller coaster. Trust me, I know how it feels. It can feel like everything inside you is breaking, your emotions run wild and your heart physically begins to hurt. I know this feeling all to well and I am sure you are familiar with it too. It hurts like hell.

It’s painful, especially the day after the breakup. Whether you’ve been broken up with or you’re the one who broke things off, it still cuts deep. You cry yourself to sleep and you continue into that solemn slumber right into the next day. You are consumed by dreams that deceive you into thinking this isn’t reality and that this isn’t actually happening. Friends and family check in on you but you ignore their texts. You hope to God that he will text you saying he’s changed his mind. Yet, as the days pass by slowly, that doesn’t happen.

You begin to ask yourself negative questions like “Am I not worth it?” or “Why does this hurt so much?”

You begin to question your self-worth, which is a dangerous road to go down. This can be devastating.

Right now, you’re hurting and your heart is aching and you’re tempted to text him or you begin to look at old photos of you both together. You thought this would make things better but you end up feeling worst than before.

Let me tell you something, it’s okay to hurt and cry.

You’re mourning, so let yourself feel those emotions. Don’t suppress them because eventually you will explode and hurt those close to you. I’ve been where you are, in fact, I am still there, with a grieving heart. Healing is slow and it takes a lot of patience but I want to list some ways I am coping in hopes to encourage others in their own journey.

  1. Cry, cry it out and let it hurt. Feel those emotions. But after a while, be careful though because you don’t want to live in that pain.
  2. Be kind, be present and love others unconditionally. This is so healing! Loving others through your pain shows so much strength.
  3. Don’t isolate yourself. Talk about it with your mentor or close friends and family. Talking about it helps so much!
  4. Pour yourself into your passions. Don’t give up on the things you love doing. For me, I’m focusing on my writing. This is something I highly suggest, it’s not only distracting but it helps you stay focused and motivated.
  5. Believe you will heal; believe you will get through this and grow from this pain. Believe you are strong, valued and loved.

Remember, you will not feel this way forever. This is just a season and you will overcome this trial. You are going to be okay.

Missed last week’s column?

Community comes together on Halloween

About Lizzie Skelton:

I’m a fourth-year University student at UBCO.

My goal is to one day go into journalism at UBC Vancouver.

I want to eventually write about controversial and political topics.

Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Morning Start: Women can give birth after they die

Your morning start for Wednesday, Aug. 12, 2020

COVID-19 outbreak at Oliver farm declared over

There continues to be other community exposure events in the Interior Health region

Morning Start: The Exorcist film set was haunted

Your morning start for Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2020

Former Summerlander receives Emmy nomination for makeup work

Lucky Bromhead recognized for her work with Canadian sitcom Schitt’s Creek

Mural adds artistic flair to downtown Keremeos

A new, privately commissioned mural has received praise from residents

The Okanagan’s first Arabic store opens in Kelowna

The store is located in Kelowna’s Landmark District

Deaths feared after train derails amid storms in Scotland

Stonehaven is on the line for passenger trains linking Aberdeen with the cities of Edinburgh and Glasgow

DFO says 5 aggrieved B.C First Nations were consulted on fisheries plan

Nuu-chah-nulth First Nations calls response ‘a sham,’ adding DFO never incorporates their views

Lower Mainland woman gives birth on in-laws’ driveway

Frédérique Gagnon new son is appropriately named after Norse trickster god

Man, 54, charged in connection with fatal attack of Red Deer doctor

Doctor was killed in his walk-in clinic on Monday

UPDATE: Two dead after fishing boat sinks off southern Vancouver Island

Shawnigan Lake-registered Arctic Fox II went down off Cape Flattery, west of Victoria

Landlord takes front door, windows after single B.C. mom late with rent

Maple Ridge mom gets help from community generosity and government

VIDEO: B.C. community rallies to save snared eagle

Revelstoke climber scales tree to save the raptor

Most Read