Spring is playing with us now in our valley. Despite what the calendar says, it doesn’t show up on March 21. It comes in fits and spurts. We’ve already had its teasing hints, but one of these days . . . . we know it will be here. One of the reasons we like spring so much is that it’s a time for fresh starts, and plantings, and new growth. And warm is better than cold. I like crocuses. They’re optimistic. They pop their heads up through the last hurrahs of winter snow, and announce it: “It’s time! It’s time to grow! It’s new life time!”
Spring is the time for several things. Time to clean house – open the windows for fresh air, carry out the trash that has accumulated through the too many closed up cold days, wipe up the dust that one sees more clearly now as sunlight shines more brightly through the windows. It’s time to dig up the old knurled stumps and rocks that have tripped us up too frequently and are now exposed again. Time to plant new seeds, and then pull the weeds. It’s time to spring into spring!
More than just a season, I think it’s a metaphor for our lives, and our relationships. Especially for cold, knurled, icy relationships. Ones filled with threats and abuse. Especially in our homes. Especially domestic violence. Violence to our spouse, or our kids.
I pray that this spring will be a wake-up time in homes like these. No matter how frigid and rigid our relationships may have become, no matter how we’ve tried to sweep the dirt under the rugs and kept it out of sight behind closed doors, no matter how we’ve tried to hide it from others even though the cries and screams and shouts of pain and tell-tale bruises have alerted the neighbors, or even though we’ve tried to deny our angry meanness even to ourselves, it’s harder to cover all that up in the light of spring. It is just such a weary, deadly way to live.
If you live in such a home or are in such a relationship, this year take spring’s call for change seriously. It’s time.There’s help. If you’ve gone though a long winter of fear and hurt from your parent or spouse, no matter how many seasons it has persisted, call Victim Services and explore new options. If you are the abuser, full of anger and your own kinds of fear, you can call us too. “Change for Good” is a new free counseling program just for you, to help you to stop denying or trying to justify your hurtful behaviours, and to change, for good! It’s time to pull the weeds and turn over a new leaf and plant new seeds. It’s clean-up time, planting time, new growth time. Step outside the darkness into the beckoning light and warmth.
One more thought. Behaviour changes, like the arrival of spring, don’t usually happen all at once. Life changes often happen in fits and spurts. We make decisions to change, and we actually warm up for a while. But then we slip back to the habitual cold stuff, and we get discouraged. Change is a process, and it takes perseverance. Remember the crocus. If the snow falls, shovel it, and keep on growing. Seeds of change, once planted, need care and attention in order to blossom and flower. That’s why we often can’t do it alone. Call 250-499-5511. Ask for Ron. Let’s talk, confidentially. We’ll help you find the right help for you. I’m glad it’s springtime. You’ll be glad too.